My Christmas Wish

Christmas is a great time of year to remember the Savior, but He is often overshadowed with materialism, financial worry, and strife within families.

In his book, Till Debt Do Us Part, Dr. Bernard E. Poduska writes, "You can never get enough of what you don't need, because what you don't need can never satisfy you." Every Christmas I notice at least one person who loses faith in "Santa Claus" when he doesn't bring them exactly what they wanted. Yet, this season is not about presents or Santa, but representing the wise men who brought gifts to the Savior of the world at his birth.

Sadly, Christmas in general is more of a material and financial holiday than a spiritual one anymore. In 2012, a poll was taken among 1000 Americans of varying income levels who were seeking monetary help to carry them through the Christmas season. (To view, click this link) While these people clamored for direct deposit advances, clung to their credit cards and took out loans, they took a moment to say whether they thought Christmas was worth it. 45%, almost half, said they would rather skip Christmas altogether. How sad it is to consider cancelling the one day of the year where people, regardless of religion or social status, actually think about Christ. This loss of true Christmas spirit all stems from focusing on money and greed.

Last of all, while this truly is the time of year to be home for Christmas, when new members enter the family, Christmas is a prime opportunity for family members to judge them. Specifically for me, this year, we received news that my younger sister is engaged. Yet, my family is enraged at her fiancee, constantly tries to dissuade her from marrying him, and excludes him from conversation. I even joined in at first, but I remembered that Christ taught us not to judge, "for with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged..." (Matthew 7:1-2). 

Christmas is the perfect time to remember how Christ treats us all as his spiritual brothers and sisters. Christ would accept our most humble gifts, not the newest and most expensive gadgetry. Our Savior would urge us to give the gifts of love to our family members, rather than to dig ourselves into a pit of debt. Most of all, Christ would urge us to show mercy in order to earn his mercy for ourselves. "Whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life." (John 4:14)

I would urge each of you to think of Christ's gift of to us this season, the gift of His atonement. The only gift He asks from us in return is that we follow His example. Have charity and love for all men (especially your spouse) so that one day, when he returns to earth again, we may finally see our biggest Christmas wish fulfilled: Peace on Earth.

Equality vs Fairness : Level Ground

It is no secret that these days women feel that men behave as superiors and are fighting for equality. On the other hand, a woman could even debase her husband if she places herself over her husband. However, I do not think equality is the issue here. The issue is truly a matter of fairness.

Fairness is like equality in that people are given different responsibilities and powers!

The first picture shows a metaphor of how life would be if women and men were equal. All of us would have the priesthood, all of us would have the same gifts, all of us would be given equal say despite our strengths, weaknesses, build, or passions.

Our God and Father knows that giving us all an equal share of his blessings is not what will be the most effective. The second picture shows how if blessings and powers are given fairly, everybody wins. Thus, the men hold the priesthood power, women hold the power to bear and nurture children, we each are given hand-picked callings, weaknesses, strengths, and opportunities to serve and turn to the Lord. The pattern of unequal, yet fair distribution of gifts was so from the very beginning:

Adam was given power in creating the world, he was the first steward of the world, and it was from his rib that women were first made. He was given the keys to communicate with God after they were cast from the garden, and he was commanded to work for his sake and the sake of his family.

Eve was heralded as "the mother of all living", she was wise beyond her innocent experience when she partook of the fruit that allowed all of God's spirit children to come to earth and gain mortal bodies and tabernacles. She was blessed with the pain of childbirth, and a more nurturing and charitable soul.

So who is in charge in a marriage? Who should "wear the pants" in a marriage union? I submit that it is Jesus Christ. He, the greatest of us all, condescended to save us, and he will do the same to lift any couple who puts their marriage in His hands.

If you find that you and your spouse are having a hard time sharing in decisions, or can't find an answer to submit both of you, it's because the Spirit has not been welcomed into the conversation. Rather than trying to resolve your problems between just the two of you, take your issues to Heavenly Father in prayer and invite the Spirit to guide both of you to the will of the Lord. You will find that there will be less heat involved in these conversations, unless it is simply the warmth of the love of Christ filling your hearts.

Gordon B. Hinckley once said about his wife, "I’ve tried to recognize my wife’s individuality, her personality, her desires, her background, her ambitions. Let her fly….Let her develop her own talents. Let her do things her way. Get out of her way, and marvel at what she does…If there is anything that concerns me, it is that some men try to run their wife’s life and tell her everything she ought to do. It will not work. There will not be happiness in the lives of the children nor of the parents where the man tries to run everything and control his wife….They are companions in this great venture that we call marriage and family life." She felt the same about him. The Spirit was a constant member of their eternally sealed marriage. 

I will close with this statement to ponder: Can you imagine your marriage as sweet as theirs?