Equality vs Fairness : Level Ground

It is no secret that these days women feel that men behave as superiors and are fighting for equality. On the other hand, a woman could even debase her husband if she places herself over her husband. However, I do not think equality is the issue here. The issue is truly a matter of fairness.

Fairness is like equality in that people are given different responsibilities and powers!

The first picture shows a metaphor of how life would be if women and men were equal. All of us would have the priesthood, all of us would have the same gifts, all of us would be given equal say despite our strengths, weaknesses, build, or passions.

Our God and Father knows that giving us all an equal share of his blessings is not what will be the most effective. The second picture shows how if blessings and powers are given fairly, everybody wins. Thus, the men hold the priesthood power, women hold the power to bear and nurture children, we each are given hand-picked callings, weaknesses, strengths, and opportunities to serve and turn to the Lord. The pattern of unequal, yet fair distribution of gifts was so from the very beginning:

Adam was given power in creating the world, he was the first steward of the world, and it was from his rib that women were first made. He was given the keys to communicate with God after they were cast from the garden, and he was commanded to work for his sake and the sake of his family.

Eve was heralded as "the mother of all living", she was wise beyond her innocent experience when she partook of the fruit that allowed all of God's spirit children to come to earth and gain mortal bodies and tabernacles. She was blessed with the pain of childbirth, and a more nurturing and charitable soul.

So who is in charge in a marriage? Who should "wear the pants" in a marriage union? I submit that it is Jesus Christ. He, the greatest of us all, condescended to save us, and he will do the same to lift any couple who puts their marriage in His hands.

If you find that you and your spouse are having a hard time sharing in decisions, or can't find an answer to submit both of you, it's because the Spirit has not been welcomed into the conversation. Rather than trying to resolve your problems between just the two of you, take your issues to Heavenly Father in prayer and invite the Spirit to guide both of you to the will of the Lord. You will find that there will be less heat involved in these conversations, unless it is simply the warmth of the love of Christ filling your hearts.

Gordon B. Hinckley once said about his wife, "I’ve tried to recognize my wife’s individuality, her personality, her desires, her background, her ambitions. Let her fly….Let her develop her own talents. Let her do things her way. Get out of her way, and marvel at what she does…If there is anything that concerns me, it is that some men try to run their wife’s life and tell her everything she ought to do. It will not work. There will not be happiness in the lives of the children nor of the parents where the man tries to run everything and control his wife….They are companions in this great venture that we call marriage and family life." She felt the same about him. The Spirit was a constant member of their eternally sealed marriage. 

I will close with this statement to ponder: Can you imagine your marriage as sweet as theirs?