First, I’d like to
talk about this picture. There is a couple sitting on a bench during a
rainstorm. They have obviously had some sort of disagreement and don’t feel
like speaking, and yet, the husband is holding the umbrella in such a way that
it can shield them both from the rain. You can tell that despite their differences in opinion, he still loves her and treasures his marriage relationship with her.
Marriage is a perfect
pattern, assembled by God. However, we as natural men and women, are imperfect.
When, after a wedding ceremony, the couple drives off to their honeymoon suite,
it is not “happily ever after” from that moment. There are homes to buy and
sell, children to be born and raised, bills to pay, and numerous disagreements
awaiting.
Marriage IS the
umbrella. When our marriage is healthy, it is big enough for both of us. When it is unhealthy, it grows smaller, maybe even small enough that only one of us can use it. We may be pulling it over ourselves and away from our partner, or we may feel like our partner is the one hogging the space under the umbrella. All of our disagreements and the trials we are going to face is the
rain, sleet, wind, and snow.
When a person leaves home, they are given a generic umbrella by their parents designed by what the parents have taught them. It can be upgraded as a person lives righteously, but only to a certain degree.
At marriage, two partners trade their individual umbrellas
in and leave with a much better one to share. This umbrella is a also a starter umbrella, but has much more potential than the previous ones because this is given by Heavenly Father. It's a modest, but adequate umbrella that grows more and more as
the couple keeps their covenants between each other and the Lord.
Spencer W. Kimball
described the umbrella like this: “I like to compare the home evening, family
prayer, and other associated activities of the Church for the saving of the
family, when they are conscientiously carried out, with an umbrella. If the
umbrella is not opened up, it is little more than a cane and can give little
protection from the storms of nature. Likewise, God-given plans are of little
value unless they are used.
The umbrella spread
out makes the silken material taut. When the rain falls, it runs off; when the
snow falls, it slides off; when the hail comes, it bounces off; when the wind
blows, it is diverted around the umbrella. And in like manner, this spiritual
umbrella wards off the foes of ignorance, superstition, skepticism, apostasy,
immorality, and other forms of godlessness.
It is my prayer that
we shall all spread our spiritual umbrellas for protection of our families.”1
By obeying the Lord’s
commandments concerning marriage and homes of love and order, we reinforce and
upgrade our umbrella. This way, we can protect ourselves, our spouse, and our
children as one family unit.
However, trends in
marriage show that more and more marriages turn to divorce. When a husband or
wife puts their needs before the needs of their partner and children, the
umbrella starts to tear. More and more umbrellas are torn into two tattered and
individual umbrellas, and children are left to run between their parents’
umbrellas for the little protection they offer.
But umbrellas can be
fixed. A single parent can once again mend their umbrella to shield their children, but it will never be as great of a protection as if there was a compatible spouse present. If your marriage umbrella is starting to tear, I have a few simple
suggestions:
- Pray for your spouse individually, and pray with your spouse together.
- Respect yourself by communicating your wants and needs clearly and honestly. Offer your spouse the same opportunity.
- Set aside your non-essential wants and needs to serve your spouse first.
Over the course of
this blog, I will offer my own amateur insights into what a marriage means to
me as well as a few of the lessons I have learned from couples I have met. They
may be married, single, divorced, or remarried. I may know them intimately, but
I have also learned from strangers.
I wish all of my
readers luck as they open and hold the umbrellas up for whatever family they
have. Thanks for reading!
References:
1 https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-spencer-w-kimball/chapter-19?lang=eng
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